From a predator to a protector
A few years ago, one of my pastors told me, “Men tend to become one of two things: a predator of women or a protector of women.” Again and again, I’ve seen this statement proved right — not just in others’ lives but also in my own life. Catalyzed by porn and masturbation, I preyed on women almost every day for years. Starting more than ten years ago, however, the trajectory of my life changed so drastically that now I strive to protect them.
It didn’t happen all at once. But it got started much faster than I ever would have guessed, after just 40 days. In more than a decade of freedom since then, this passion has grown to the degree that I would never have thought possible.
It began with a 40-day bet
On September 16, 2009, I was 19 years old when a buddy unexpectedly challenged another friend and me to a bet of not masturbating for 40 days. Before that day, I had tried to stop many times but always failed. Even so, I was excited as we got started with the bet. To make a long story short, my two teammates didn’t make it (not even close), but I doggedly endured to the end.
Believe it or not, after just those 40 days, it was already clear that life was incomparably better without porn and masturbation. When I took a shower, I just took a shower. When I was on the computer, I just used the computer. It was great!
While walking to my dorm after class a few days later, a fundamental yet profound thought came to mind: “God, you’ve been right this whole time, haven’t you?”
God began exposing my unhealthy views toward women
Even though a new life began for me after completing the bet, there was no denying that I had become warped by the years of habitually viewing women through a sexual lens, almost as a reflex. But thanks to God’s great mercy, he gently but firmly started helping me see how he sees women — daughters hand-crafted in his image.
The more shocking lessons came when I heard some of my friends and classmates talk in passing about girls and porn. With what felt like new ears and eyes, it was like staring into a mirror. Was that really what I looked like just a few months prior?
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